On Fear and Trusting

By God's grace, we were able to set our first surgery date, and thankfully it's happening in the next couple of weeks. What's happening in his first surgery is the removal of his diseased large intestine, and a loop ileostomy. The ileostomy would create a stoma where his bowel movements would be emptied into an external bag. The ileostomy is temporary, it's put in place to allow his body to heal first, before creating the j-pouch (internal bag) and reconnection in the second surgery. To protect our privacy, we will not be sharing the date of our surgery to public but we will surely provide an update once we are in a recovery stage. 

Please visit our blog post here for details about this decision

So, the past couple of days have been quite a whirlwind to say the least. Signing paperwork, phone calls and reading documents from the hospital, researching and talking to people who've undergone the disease, understanding the various supplies required after the first surgery, and learning all about the recovery and post-recovery life after the first surgery and the second surgery. I try not to add to Clement's plate too by providing summaries of this info, but there's definitely quite a bit to take in.  

It really is quite overwhelming. It's hard not to think of what-if's, complications, or difficulties of this new normal. I can definitely feel the fears creeping in.

But, God has really spoken to us through His word these past couple of days. While it's a huge cloud of unknown, our God, the Creator of the universe is with us in this. We are not alone. And in moments that we've find that hard to believe, He has sent us people all over the world to encourage us and pray for us. Thank you to all of you who have reached out to us in this trying time. We are really beyond thankful, and thank God for you. You guys have been such a blessing in our lives. We've really felt that we're going in this together.  

My mom used to share this verse to me so often that it actually just stuck in my head. I even created a little action movement for this verse so Clement doesn't forget it either.  Clement is really not good at memorizing verses, [insert evil laugh]. 

And this verse doesn't end this way. It ends with, "I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I am so encouraged by this verse. Recently I've started a business venture with my friend, and it's been such a blessing knowing that we could rely on each other especially when one of us is going through a trying time. How much more, if the most powerful Being assures you that He is your God, and He is gonna help you? There have been days where we've just felt so down and all we want to do is stay curled up in bed, and I can't help but imagine just God lifting us up in the palm of His hand, comforting us, and filling us with their peace. 

While we anticipate this surgery, if you are willing to pray for us at this time, here are some of our requests: 

How to pray for us: 

• Pre-Surgery - There's quite a bit of prep work prior to the surgery, and as we prepare for it and anticipate for it, please pray that Clement's symptoms wouldn't worsen and that his body would be in tip-top condition before the surgery, so that his surgery would go well. The past couple of days have been pretty rough on him, that we're really quite relieved that the surgery date is coming soon. Additionally, since this is an elective surgery, please pray that our surgery date would stick and we would be able to have the surgery on time without delay. There's still a chance that it could get postponed if there was an emergency surgery before us. 
• Surgery - Please pray for the doctors, the nurses, that they would be physically and mentally ready to perform the surgery without any issues, and that the surgeon would have the wisdom to know what to do, no matter what happens. And of course, that Clement's surgery would go successful, or even better than expected. We are also hoping that we wouldn't find anything else wrong in his system during this time that they're doing the surgery, and the biopsy afterwards. 
• Post-surgery - We are hoping that Clement's system would recover quickly and be able to move his bowels, and the rest of his system normally afterwards. Please pray that we would be surrounded by caring and attentive nurses that would help Clement in his recovery, and that our stay in the hospital would be smooth-sailing. And that we would learn quickly how to deal with his ostomy, the supplies and all, changing bags and managing output, without any complications. 
• Recovery - Please pray that Clement would have great recovery and adjustment to this new normal, and so we could prepare for the second surgery as well. There would be some adjustments to his eating as well, so we would be slowly reintroducing food. This seems like a selfish request but I really do want Clement to be able to enjoy all the foods he wants in life without having to suffer for them. 
• Mindset and work - Clement and I will be taking time off work during the surgery and post-surgery, and I am hoping this will also be a time of healing for our minds as well. This disease has definitely created anxiety and much difficult times for our minds. Our hope is that we would be able to stay positive no matter what we will face in the surgery process. Additionally, I will be going back to work fairly soon as Clement is home from the hospital, so please pray that my work burden would not be too heavy as well, as we deal with this new normal. 

We really, really do thank you from the bottom of our hearts. If you would like to reach out to us, please send us a note via our contact form on the website, by clicking "Our Story". We would love to pray for you too. 

Love, 

Karla